Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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