Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
