The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
