He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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