Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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