i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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