the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
