He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
