it wasn't lemon gatorade
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
