I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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