Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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