Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
