there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize