You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He? As in you personified your dick?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
