I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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