Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
