We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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