Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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