How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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