Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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