Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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