Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
