Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
