Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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