I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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