i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
