Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
