Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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