Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We had sex on a dog bed..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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