I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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