it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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