you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
