hell yes lets make some ravioli
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
