Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize