i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize