Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
