So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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