dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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