Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
