Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
