question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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