she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
