So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
