It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
