I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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