Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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