My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
