I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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