And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
