maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize