Hey man sorry I got all grabby
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
