I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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