I'm gonna have a badass scar
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
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Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis