wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot