is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.