I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize