How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
