With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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