How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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