JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
