i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
