i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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