You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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